Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Genetic Soup
Hunterman has me thinking about my biological father a lot lately. As you can tell by the endearing term "biological father", he and I aren't very close. He left my Mom when I was just a baby and I never laid eyes on him again until I was 13 years old. It's a bit ironic ... I wouldn't have ever met him if I hadn't almost died the summer before. That's a post for another day. The point now is that facing death made me want to learn about my roots. So my Mom arranged a visit for me to meet my biological father and grandmother. My grandmother was very warm, sweet and a little crazy. My father was anxious, scattered, more than a little weird but very handsome. It appears that years and years of alcohol and drugs had withered whatever brain cells my father had been born with. I do remember that our conversations that day always circled back to Indians and that he really wanted my Mom to name me Princess Moonbeam. Thank God my Mom really loved me!! I haven't seen Indian Drug Man since that day. He did send me a few birthday and Christmas cards and 2 tickets to see Genesis until I turned 18. Once I hit 18, my biological grandmother took over his fatherly "duties" and sent me cards and flowers whenever she remembered me -- until I was 21. I called my grandmother a couple of times a year until 2002 -- when I realized that Alzheimer's had claimed her and that she truly had no idea who I was. To this day I don't know whatever became of Indian Drug Man ... most of the time I'm relieved and then there are moments, like when I look in Hunterman's eyes, that it makes me sad. You see, Hunterman has Indian Drug Man's eyes. No one else in my family or Ed's have eyes anywhere near the color of Hunterman's. They are a crystal ice blue with silver ripples -- a few strangers have stopped and commented that they would be perfect marbles (how weird is that?)! I'm sure that Indian Drug Man would be proud to have a grandson, Little Chief Marble Eye, that resembled him in some way. How I pray that this is the only resemblance I ever see.
2 Comments:
That must be so hard. #1 Son has my father's eyes and Pa couldn't be prouder. I can't imagine what a sad life your father must live not knowing what a joy he's missing.
He does know that he has one grandson, CJ, as I sent his Mom pictures when CJ was a baby. I never heard a word from him. I guess he didn't want to be a grandfather any more than he wanted to be a father.
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