Thursday, March 09, 2006
Crossroads
I'm at a crossroads. Part of me feels elated, the other part feels guilty and terrified. I have basically been offered a job as a marketing director for the company my husband works for. The pay would be great, the hours very flexible and the coworkers wonderful. I would be doing something I love and I would be rewarded monetarily for it. However, taking the job would mean putting CJ into preschool for the next 5 months until kindergarten starts and Hunterman would be in day care as well. Granted, it would only be 6 hours a day, but I feel a tremendous amount of guilt for even considering working when I don't have to. I try to justify it by saying that Hunterman needs the socialization with children his own age (hard to find out here in the country) but ultimately I know that I'll be making this decision for my own good, not theirs. Does that make me a horrible mother????!!!!???? I have about a week to make my decision. I don't know what I'm going to do ... my answer changes by the hour around here.
3 Comments:
I understand you're dilemma. Soooo many of us understand. And here's what I think... To be the best mother you've got to be happy with yourself, satisfied with your choices. For some moms, they just can't leave their kids and that's what they feel best about. For others, it just honestly feels better to get out for a while. I had a friend who had her first baby at around 35 and immediately went back to work. She very honestly said that they were used to living with two incomes and she wanted the same lifestyle. My sister, who swore she would never work again, is working again and really enjoying it. It's so okay, either way.
You know that phrase "If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy"...I think that's my main point.
Thanks Emily. That is one of Ed's favorite "sayin's". All of this may be decided for me if CJ doesn't get into our 1st choice charter school (we find out next week), but I think I NEED to work. I'll just have to avoid "THE MOM" at CJ's class that insists it is every mother's duty to stay home with her child and not let someone else raise them. :)
You know, I used to be that mom. But that was before I had kids. Then I relized,we all have to make our own choices. It's your family. Do what you think is best. If you take the job and change your mind, you can always quit. And I doubt the boys will be scarred by going to daycare.
Good luck!
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