Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Millions are watching ...
Swirly Girl's open invitation to participate in 52 Figments has motivated me to revisit my childhood or more specifically my relationship with my Mom. The answer to this week's "figment" was instantaneous for me and almost dismissed because the answer seemed too easy. I wanted to have a more mysterious, intriguing answer ... one that most people would not be able to identify with --- but it occurred to me, that would be a false answer. My Mom deserves to be recognized, applauded and appreciated for all that she has done for me and all that she means to me. The picture posted above was an accurate portrayal of my first 8 years ... there was much sadness. My Mom was a "young" mother with no one on her side. Her mother took her to court and had her declared an "unfit" mother and was awarded custody of me. It seems that 30 some years ago it was quite easy to take a child from her mother whereas today the court does everything in its power to keep a mother and child together, even when it is obviously detrimental to the child. Of course, my bitterness is not truly directed at the court system but at my grandparents. They stole four precious years from my mother and me ... years that were filled with moments pictured here. I can only imagine that this picture was taken as we were forced to say good-bye after a very short and court enforced "visitation". My grandparents did allow me to live with my Mom after I turned five, but they refused to give her legal custody of me as they wanted some way to control their daughter. I should mention that there was absolutely nothing "unfit" about my mother -- other than her own parents.
My Mom's struggles are her own and I do not feel I have the right to put them in words. But I must acknowledge that my Mom did everything she could to keep her head above water and raise me with love and attention ... on her own. Until I was eight --- then I imagine that Mom's wish for a knight in shining armor was answered when she met my "Dad". With my Dad's support and my Mom's determination, they took my grandparents back to court and they were awarded legal custody. It was a day that my Mom had dreamed about and worked for for so long. That was just one of many battles my Mom fought for me over the years.
Her life revolved around me and my happiness. We were not rich ... not even middle-income, really ... but I never knew it. My Mom made sure that I had the clothes I wanted, the toys and games my friends had and vacations at the beach every year. She sacrificed and denied herself many things just so she could make sure that she provided for me and gave me the childhood she never had. Of course I was spoiled, but I was also appreciative. And being aware of what my Mom had endured during her life only helped me become stronger and more independent. There have been times that strength and independence have caused strife between my Mom and me but the bond that was forged between us when I was only a preschooler has triumphed. I never really knew how I would be able to repay my Mom for all that she has done for me but I think I have come close now that Mom is able to live nearby and watch me be a "Mommy" to CJ and Hunterman. She has been able to take part in their lives as babies, toddlers and now with CJ, a preschooler. Those moments stolen from her when I was just a babe have been given back to her twicefold. But I would still love to be able to thank her in front of millions ... as she deserves.
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